


Secret Agent Man

by fantasyportal



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hacker voice I'm in, Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Lance in a tuxedo, M/M, Spies & Secret Agents, Voltron, but only kind of, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 12:04:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16040114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasyportal/pseuds/fantasyportal
Summary: “Tuxedo?”“Check.”“Bowtie?”“Primed and ready!” Lance exclaimed.“Really?” Pidge muttered dryly.“What?” Lance started innocently, “This is basically the plot of every Hollywood, blockbuster heist ever.”





	Secret Agent Man

“Tuxedo?”

“Check.”

“Bowtie?”

“Primed and ready!” Lance exclaimed.

“Really?” Pidge muttered dryly.

“What?” Lance started innocently, “This is basically the plot of every Hollywood, blockbuster heist ever.”

“Get your head out of the clouds Bond, the bowtie doesn’t even explode,” Pidge responded in her trademark “I don’t get paid enough for this shit” voice.

“Shame,” Lance hummed back in reply.

“Regardless of the exploding bow ties, this is nothing like those cheesy movie scenes.”

“Why’s that?” Lance challenged.

“We’re missing the incredibly gorgeous main character.”

Lance paused, “Excuse me?”

“Don’t kid yourself, you look nothing like those A-list celebrities.”

“I look exactly like an A-list celebrity. I’m devilishly handsome.”

Pidge had the audacity to snort, “It’s okay, most of their good looks come from plastic surgery anyway.”

Lies and slander, “I hate you.”

“Sure.”

“I really do.”

“I believe you.”

Lance groaned, “You suck.”

The line was quiet except for the sound of muffled snickering. “I try.”

Pouting Lance glanced into his small compact mirror one last time. His absolutely stunning hair was ruffled to perfection. His smile was charming and trustworthy. And most importantly nobody could see the pistol hidden in his breast pocket or the multitude of knives tucked away in his suit. Snapping the mirror shut, Lance spoke into the microphone, “Alright, time to blow this joint.”

“Sure thing, remember the target is in the vault, in the master bedroom-”

“Which is on the third floor, third door to the left, next to the weird pot plant,” Lance cut in. “I pay attention.”

“Color me impressed,” Pidge deadpanned.

Lance confidently approached the giant, ornate mansion doors as if he belongs there. Security guards stood in the entrance letting in the elegant, sparkling guests. Glowing candles reflected their shimmering light off the gleaming oak doors and iron decor. Soft piano music was spilling out of the entrance creating an absolutely magnificent ambiance. No expense seemed to be spared.

“Hey Mr. Devilishly Handsome James Bond, don’t mess this up.”

Lance smiled, “Thanks Pidge, I’ll be careful.” He focused his attention on the guards as he pulled out a forged invitation. The sharply dressed hired muscle leaned forward and examined the colorful slip of paper, before nodding.

“Thank you, gentlemen,” Lance nodded back, before slipping inside. He was quickly immersed into a world of beautiful people in sparkling formal wear and glimmering champagne flukes. Shining gold plated archways and enormous crystal chandeliers. The piano music picked up its tempo; this was going to be fun.

“Are there hors-d'oeuvres?” Pidge asked.

“Uh-” Lance spotted a handful of waiters with large circular dishes, “Yeah.”

“Quiznack, one day I’m going to get invited to one of these things for real.”

Lance laughed quietly, but silently agreed with her, “You would have to dance and talk to all of these overly rich idiots.”

“Valid point, but fancy little food dishes.”

“You know I’m suddenly feeling very hungry,” Lance muttered under his breath as he made his way over to a waiter.

“This is not fair,” Pidge grumbled. “Do you think you can bring some?”

“And how exactly do you want me to hide mango chile sautéed eel in my suit?” Lance asked as he popped one into his mouth. The weird combination of flavors swirled around in his mouth. It was absolutely delicious.

“Very carefully, I don’t want it to get smashed.”

“Alright, I’ll do that,” Lance glanced around the room. “Woah! The cookies are sparkly.” Lance carefully made his way across the room to the cookie table. He grabbed a napkin and quickly wrapped up a cookie before stuffing it in his pocket. Pidge better appreciate it.

Pidge sighed longingly, “Food time is over. The security cameras are going to shut off in exactly sixty ticks.”

“Alright.” Lance crossed the room, weaving around clumps of people. He reached, a small staircase tucked into an alcove. He quickly started up the stairs, as the piano music and loud chatter faded out behind him.

“This staircase only goes to the second floor, so you are going to need to find another staircase.”

“Got it,” Lance muttered. He peered around the corner to check if the hallway was clear. Exhaling with relief, he starts to quickly look for another staircase.

“According to the blueprints, there should a servant’s staircase at the end of the hallway.”

“Thanks.” With nobody in sight, Lance made a mad dash to the other end of the hallway.

“Careful.”

“Yeah, sure,” Lance concentrated on climbing the second staircase quietly. Reaching the top, he found another long arching hallway. It had the same grandeur as the floors below it. Lance scanned the beautifully carved walls for the weird potted plant. “Where is it?”

“Check behind you.”

Pivoting, Lance spotted a strange exotic plant in a golden pot. Next to the plant was a quaint little door hidden in a shadowed alcove. “That one?”

“Look likes it. As long as the information holds up, we should be good.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Lance tiptoed towards the door, “Ready?”

“Go ahead.”

Lance placed one hand on top of the concealed gun, as he gave the door a light push. His heart thudded rapidly against his ribcage as the wooden door swung open with a creak. Behind the door was a small bedroom, and on the bed was a man with striking violet eyes and a pistol. Quiznack. The pistol was pointing at his chest. He was so dead.

“There’s a man on the bed! Pidge what do I do?”

“Quiznack!” Pidge began typing rapidly, already picking up on the immediate danger, “I don’t know? Seduce him?”

“WHat!?” Lance hissed into the comm, “Pidge! He has a gun!”

“So?” She was only half paying attention as she concentrated on her solution.

“Pidge!”

“I don’t know! I’m working on the backup plan, go be James Bond or whatever.”

“Quiznack here goes nothing.” Lance took a deep breath, as he stared the man down. The man was objectively hot. “Come here often?”

The man on the bed looked rather unimpressed and very unamused. “You’re the agent?”

“I was looking for uh- the bathroom,” Lance stuttered unconvincingly.

“Really now,” The man deadpanned. He stood up, a clump of black hair fell onto his glaring face. The pistol was still glaring daggers into Lance’s chest.

Adrenaline began rushing through Lance in waves, “Pidge.” He said it like a prayer.

“A smoke bomb should be hidden in your watch, I’m activating it now. But I need a couple ticks.”

Lance shifted his attention back to the man, “You can put the gun down, I’m not going anywhere.”

The man smirked, he stepped forward, “Put your hands up.”

Lance slowly raised his hands-

“Lance NOW!” Pidge yelled in his ear. Smoke started rapidly rushing out of his watch, clouding his vision and making his opponent temporarily distracted. Lance immediately leaped into action, knocking the gun from the man’s hand. Following through with the move, Lance pulled his own gun out.

“Don’t move.”

The man growled, his eyes flashed with anger. Lightning strikes in a thunderstorm. Beautiful, but deadly.

“Check behind the painting,” Pidge cut in.

“On it,” Lance slowly began backing away while keeping his gun aimed at the man. Fumbling, he found the wall and started tugging on the painting. As expected it swung open to reveal a hidden alcove. Lance reached in there to grab a small package wrapped in brown paper and stuffed into his pocket. “I’ve got it.”

Out of nowhere, Lance’s prisoner lunged forward. Caught off guard, Lance stumbled into the wall. The man delivered a sharp kick to his stomach, and pinned Lance’s arms against the wall, “Give me the package.”

Lance struggled against the man’s grip, “I’d rather not.”

“I’ll just get it myself then.”

“Go ahead.” With a hidden surge of strength, Lance managed to push back against the attack. He shifted his weight rolling onto the floor, causing the man to stumble forward.

Pidge spoke up, “You need to get out of there. Fast!”

“I’m working on it.” Taking advantage of the man’s stumble, Lance flung himself out of the room.

“Get to the roof, I got you an escape plan.”

“How?” Lance started to run faster as he heard the man rush out of the room to follow him.

“Turn left, then left again, and you should find a balcony.”

“Got it,” Lance said as he rounded a corner. This house was a freaking labyrinth.

Suddenly, a shot whizzed past his ear, slamming into the wall. “He’s shooting at me!” Another shot moved passed him, encouraging Lance to run even faster. “But I don’t think he’s a very good shot. Might be good with a sword though.”

“Later Lance,” Pidge hissed.

“Sorry. Hey! I see the balcony.”

“Quiznack! Your ride will be there in about ten ticks.”

“Great.” Lance smashed through the glass doors. He enters the delicate balcony with white marble railing.

“You’ve got nowhere to run now,” the man appeared by the entrance.

“Five ticks. Hold on.”

“Sorry, but I’ve got to go,” Lance said smoothly as he backed up into the railing.

“Three ticks.”

“Where?” The man gestured to the giant drop.

“Lance jump now!” Pidge yelled into his ear.

“What?” the man asked confused and slightly red-faced.

Lance took the jump. Roaring blades of an airship, his rescuer flooded his senses. He was saved.

Pidge voice sounded again in his ear, “You’re a real charmer.”

“I do my best.”

“The boss lady is so going to kill us for this,” Pidge sighed.

“Allura? Nah, I got the target.” Lance patted the tiny package in his suite.

“You blew your cover, and almost got killed.”

“Nevermind. We’re dead.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you've enjoyed. Feedback would be much appreciated and very awesome! The ending was kind of rushed so... Also let me know if you see any grammar mistakes, because I can't grammar. Anyways, thanks for reading!  
> -Tal


End file.
